How to Write a First Message That Gets a Reply

Quick answer
On French Union, a first message that gets replies is 2 to 4 lines long. It feels personal (one real detail from her profile), it shares one simple thing about you, then it ends with an easy question. Stay on the site messaging at the start, use translation if needed, and avoid WhatsApp or Telegram too early. A good opener does not try to impress, it makes replying effortless.

Why she does not reply, even if your message is “nice”
The 3 step method that works on French Union
The mistakes that kill your reply rate
25 first message examples that work
How to use translation without sounding cold
How to follow up without looking pushy
Safety, verified profiles, private photos, and scam signals
FAQ

Why she does not reply, even if your message is “nice”

On a dating site, being “nice” is not enough. The problem is not that you are polite, the problem is that your message looks like 50 others. And on international dating sites, many women receive a flood of “Hi”, “How are you”, “You are beautiful”. So your message gets buried.

There are three simple reasons people do not reply:

Too generic, there is nothing specific to respond to.
Too long, she does not want to start with a novel.
Too vague, no clear question, no concrete topic.

Your goal is not to “sell yourself”, your goal is to open an easy conversation. A woman replies more often to a message that makes replying quick, rather than a “perfect” message that requires five minutes of thinking.

The 3 step method that works on French Union

Stick to this structure, it is simple and it works:

A personal hook, one real detail from her profile (hobby, city, photo, a sentence she wrote).
One small thing about you, one sentence only, not your full life story.
An easy question, short, specific, ideally with two choices.

Example:

“I saw you like being in nature, it is refreshing to see it said so simply. I usually go for walks on weekends to clear my head. Are you more sea or mountains?”

Why does this work? Because it is short, human, and it gives her an obvious reply. You are not trying to “trap” her, you are offering a normal exchange.

The ideal length

2 to 4 lines. Longer than that, and you lose a lot of replies. Shorter than that, it often feels empty.

The golden rule

If she can reply in five seconds, your chances go up. If she has to think hard, you lose people.

The mistakes that kill your reply rate

1) “Hi how are you”

This is the most ignored opener because it says nothing. Even if you are attractive and friendly, it does not trigger anything.

2) Copy paste compliments

“You are the most beautiful woman here” sounds fake, even if you mean it. A useful compliment is specific and light.

3) The first day novel

A long message creates pressure. She thinks, “If I reply, I need to write as much.” She does not want that. Neither do you.

4) Personal questions too early

Kids, marriage, exes, problems, money, religion, those topics come later. At the start, you are just building a good connection.

5) Asking for another app too fast

On international dating, asking for WhatsApp or Telegram right away looks like scam behavior. Stay on French Union messaging at first, it feels safer and more normal.

6) Acting like a judge

“Why is your profile empty?”, “You never reply?”, “Are you serious or not?” It feels aggressive. Even serious women will skip you.

7) The interview message

Six questions in a row is exhausting. Ask one question, then build from her answer.

8) Too intense too soon

“I feel like you are my future wife” in the first message can scare people off. Save emotion for when you already have a connection.

25 first message examples that work

The best approach is to adapt each message with one detail from her profile. You can keep the structure and change one sentence, that is enough.

Short and effective

“I liked your profile, simple and clear. Are you more into quiet evenings or spontaneous outings?”
“Quick one, are you a morning coffee person or an evening tea person?”
“I saw you enjoy traveling. Do you prefer planning everything or going with the flow?”
“Simple question, sea or mountains?”
“Your style feels natural, that is refreshing. Do you prefer city life or a calmer place day to day?”

Based on a hobby

“You mentioned yoga, do you do it for energy or for calm?”
“You like reading, are you more into novels, psychology, or crime stories?”
“You look sporty, do you prefer the gym, walking, or something else?”
“You like animals, do you have a cat or a dog, or is it just a dream for now?”
“Cooking is your thing? If you could pick one comfort dish, what would it be?”

Serious dating, without pressure

“I am here for something stable, with no rush. And you, are you looking to build something or just chat?”
“For me, respect and trust are the base. What matters most to you in a relationship?”
“I like simple, honest conversations. Would you say you are more romantic or realistic?”
“You seem grounded. Do you like taking things slowly, or do you prefer a direct approach?”
“I am looking for something real, even if it takes time. Do you feel the same?”

Fun, light, and clean

“Important question, pineapple on pizza, genius or crime?”
“If you had a perfect free day, would it be rest or adventure?”
“If you pick the music for a road trip, are we going calm vibes or high energy?”
“Ideal Sunday, movie at home or coffee outside?”
“Be honest, are you more organized or more spontaneous?”

When her profile is short

“Your profile is quite discreet, it made me curious. Would you rather talk about travel, family, or future plans?”
“Let’s start simple, do you prefer light conversations or deeper ones when you get to know someone?”
“I do not know much about you yet, but I’d like to. Are you more sea, mountains, or city?”
“You seem calm. What has made you smile recently, even a small thing?”
“Easy start, what is your simple daily pleasure?”

A tip that boosts replies: use a two choice question often. It removes effort, so it increases replies.

How to use translation without sounding cold

On French Union, translation can help a lot if you do not share the same language. But a common mistake is sending messages that feel stiff because the translated text becomes too formal.

Here is the right approach:

Write simple in French or English, short sentences.
Avoid complex humor early on, it translates badly.
Add one human line: “I will keep it simple, my English is not perfect” or “If my sentence sounds odd, it is the translation”.

Example: “I’ll keep it simple, my English is not perfect. I saw you like nature, do you prefer sea or mountains?”

It helps immediately, and it makes you feel normal. Many men never say it, even though it makes things smoother.

How to follow up without looking pushy

Following up is useful if you do it cleanly. Two follow ups max, then you move on. No ego, no complaints.

Follow up 1, after 24 to 72 hours

“Just passing by to say hi. By the way, are you more sea or mountains?”

Follow up 2, a few days later

“Last try with a simple question, when you get to know someone, do you prefer a light chat or something deeper?”

If there is still no reply, stop. It is not a failure, it is just not the right timing, or not the right person.

Safety, verified profiles, private photos, and scam signals

In international dating, safety is part of the process. A serious man protects himself, and he also protects the woman, because serious women are careful too.

Stay on the site messaging at first

First contact, first exchanges, stay on French Union. You can use translation, you can take your time, and you keep a clear history if needed. If someone pushes very quickly to move to another app, slow down.

Private photos, how to handle it

Private photos are normal. Some women want control. Do not ask immediately. Start with a normal conversation, then you can say:

“I totally respect private photos. When you feel comfortable, I’ll be happy to learn a little more about you.”

It shows respect and avoids the “rushed guy” vibe.

Common red flags

She brings up money, help, or an urgent problem very early.
She wants to leave the site almost instantly, with no real conversation.
A story that is too sad, too perfect, too fast, with emotional pressure.
Refusing any video call after several days of consistent chat.

If you see that, do not argue for hours. Slow down, verify, and if needed use report and block.

Conclusion

A first message that gets a reply is not luck. It is a recipe. One profile detail, one sentence about you, one simple question. On French Union, keep the chat on the site at the start, use translation smartly, and move step by step. You will save time, avoid pointless conversations, and attract women who actually want to talk.